I guess there comes a time in everyone's life where they feel this need to finally just pick it up and move on. From that person, that place, or that thing that has kept us from being the best version of ourselves. And it it scary and it isn't something we can just wake up one morning and decide. Heck, it isn't even easy to move on from something even months after it has happened. In my life I am finding myself trying to hold onto things that have hurt me in the past and I am coming to realize that this isn't helping me whatsoever. Holding onto the things that cause pain just causes more pain. Shocking right? I live in the past. I do and I hate admitting this out loud because it is a weakness of mine and who in their right mind enjoys sharing their weaknesses? I guess maybe I hold onto these things because they are so easy to be recovered. A song, a picture, a person, a laugh. All things that can bring us back to places we can't afford to be in any longer. I am making it my conscious goal to not let these things effect me anymore. Easier said than done and I understand that more than anything but God has a greater plan for us than to sit here and remind ourselves constantly of where we used to be. Job 17:9 says that "The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger, and stronger." HE has a plan for us and it isn't to sit here and remind ourselves of our lowest places but rather to to move on and only grow and learn from our past experiences. I find this comforting to know that there is something greater than myself out there that knows what I am going through and understands that this is all temporary and that whatever HE has planned is greater. I want to know and to feel like I am not alone and I am grateful that I am not. I never will be. And I leave this out to anyone who may have needed to hear this. It hurts, but we can only grow from it.
we can do anything through Him.
kait
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
trust|| why is it so hard.
For those of you who even read this blog it has ended up as a place for me to vent about my life and just become a bit more sane by getting my feelings out on words. Something has been bugging me lately and I really just can't seem to shake it. Trust. Something so fragile and at the same time also so so powerful. I have no trust in anyone anymore though. It has been something that I have realized the more I grow up and it honestly kills me more than anything because I want to be able to trust the people that I care about but how can you let those people in when letting people in means that you are vulnerable and they know more about you than you might have ever wanted. And then they can use that against you. It makes me sick to honestly think about some of the things that people have done to me when they have my trust and what is even worse is that I continue to care about them. I don't understand myself sometimes. Why do we let the people that have hurt us or misused our trust to remain in our beautiful worlds? It confuses me too, don't worry. I think that I guess we are afraid to not only lose the trust that we have in someone but to also lose that person as a whole. Kind of messed up if you think about it. Would you rather be hurt or alone? I guess for me I would rather be hurt.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
where I stand|| religion
There is this reoccurring thing I see that says something along the lines of "just because you have a bible verse in your twitter bio doesn't mean you are religious" I would like to state that I disagree with that. Having a bible verse in my own Twitter bio, I am slightly offended with that situation because everyone is allowed to believe in what they want. And by reading the bible or by finding motivation through a verse shouldn't be seen as wrong. I would like to believe that I am a pretty religious person and that I feel as if yes I could probably go to church more and yes I could probably do some things that are seen as a bit more "Christian" than I am right now but at the same time isn't that the freedom of religion that we have? We are given the privilege to be able to worship and believe in what we want so why do we care so much if someone believes in or does something different from one another. I find myself thinking a lot more about religion lately possibly due to the times and the things going on around the country and even around the world. I just feel like maybe we are trying to find too many imperfections with others and will try and argue a point about anything that is different than what we may believe in. If that makes sense at all. I just really wanted to get that out there and I also wanted just to acknowledge that this is no longer a fashion blog. This is my blog. I will be doing the occasional outfit type post but I need this place to be somewhere I can talk about my own feelings and let it go from there.
until next time,
xoxo
kait
until next time,
xoxo
kait
Sunday, December 18, 2016
how I decided on a college|| mississippi state
Being a senior I can say that the majority of this year I have spent my time dwelling on the whole college decision process. Here I am in the first full week of December and I have a decision. To say that I have had a huge weight lifted off my chest would be an understatement because wow I am going to college and know where I am going to be for the next 4 years. And that choice was Mississippi State University. Growing up I was always a big SEC fan having both my mom and her brother attending Auburn University and my mom's sister attending the University of Mississippi. So naturally we decided to pack up the bags and start by looking down there.
When I first visited State last year as a junior I knew that I liked it but I wasn't sure if I could see myself down there. With how my life had been going recently though I decided that I had nothing to lose so why not go back down and look again. Thank goodness I went back down because I fell in love with the campus and the environment of Starkville, Mississippi. I would say that it is for sure a small college town and that was one of the things that I was looking for along with the college being highly active in community service or Relay for Life which are two things that I really enjoy currently. Well the good news was they had both, including a leadership program that involved community service and a stellar Relay organization. Choosing a college should just feel right. You should be able to see yourself there and think that you could be the most successful version of yourself by attending that school.
I think that next year is going to be a good year for me. While yes I am nervous to be moving almost 9 hours away from everything I am also excited to be exposed to new people and new opportunities! I would love to hear any advice or if you have recently made a college decision on my social media which you should totally be following!
Until next time, and HAIL STATE!
xxx-
kait
When I first visited State last year as a junior I knew that I liked it but I wasn't sure if I could see myself down there. With how my life had been going recently though I decided that I had nothing to lose so why not go back down and look again. Thank goodness I went back down because I fell in love with the campus and the environment of Starkville, Mississippi. I would say that it is for sure a small college town and that was one of the things that I was looking for along with the college being highly active in community service or Relay for Life which are two things that I really enjoy currently. Well the good news was they had both, including a leadership program that involved community service and a stellar Relay organization. Choosing a college should just feel right. You should be able to see yourself there and think that you could be the most successful version of yourself by attending that school.
I think that next year is going to be a good year for me. While yes I am nervous to be moving almost 9 hours away from everything I am also excited to be exposed to new people and new opportunities! I would love to hear any advice or if you have recently made a college decision on my social media which you should totally be following!
xxx-
kait
Thursday, November 24, 2016
heartbreak|| it is OKAY to be selfish
While today is for sure supposed to be a happy day spent with family, it has also been a day of reflection for me and how far I have come the past few weeks. I wanted the chance to share my story with you all on this happy day and give you a little bit of insight as to why I haven't been writing.
I think that we can all agree that at one time or another we have all gone through this horrible thing known as heartbreak. It sucks and it physically hurts to a point where you feel like nothing good could ever come from the way you feel. Well. I am here to say that good does come from the bad.
It just takes time.
For those of you who don't know, I broke up with my boyfriend of over almost a year and a half about 4 weeks ago. It was harsh and messy but I have learned so much about myself. Looking back at myself the past year or so I have really seemed to struggle with myself and finding who I am and being genuinely happy, and that might not be his fault per say, but how can you give someone your all if you don't even give yourself that? Not even attempting to say the whole thing about "loving yourself before someone else" but I think that I have come to a point where I am comfortable with myself but I just wasn't happy and how can you try to make someone else happy when you yourself aren't happy. I decided to cut things off and try and figure out what makes me happy.
Break-ups suck because the smallest thing can trigger you into wanting to just run back. And I did multiple times. But I finally had someone who shook me and said "This isn't you, can't you see that?" That really hit me. I realized that this was something that was no longer beneficial for myself and I was finding myself constantly questioning myself and how I felt, so I left for good this time.
It has been almost a month since we were together and right now I can say that I have never been happier. Yes, it hurts and there are for sure moments where I wonder if it was the right thing but the support system I have behind me has been nothing but the best. Sometimes you have to be selfish and that is okay.
It is okay to be selfish when it comes to your happiness. And if that means that you need to step back and feel some pain for awhile that is okay. It isn't going to feel good in the moment to lose something that you put so much energy into but it also isn't going to feel good when you have put so much in only to look back and realize that you have nothing left for yourself.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I think this really just kind of sums it all up,that there is a greater plan than a relationship ending, it all happens for a reason.
I think that this post is TREMENDOUSLY rambly- but I think that it made the point I wanted it to make.
Enjoy this time with loved ones, and make the most out of every moment.
XOXO-
Kait
I think that we can all agree that at one time or another we have all gone through this horrible thing known as heartbreak. It sucks and it physically hurts to a point where you feel like nothing good could ever come from the way you feel. Well. I am here to say that good does come from the bad.
It just takes time.
For those of you who don't know, I broke up with my boyfriend of over almost a year and a half about 4 weeks ago. It was harsh and messy but I have learned so much about myself. Looking back at myself the past year or so I have really seemed to struggle with myself and finding who I am and being genuinely happy, and that might not be his fault per say, but how can you give someone your all if you don't even give yourself that? Not even attempting to say the whole thing about "loving yourself before someone else" but I think that I have come to a point where I am comfortable with myself but I just wasn't happy and how can you try to make someone else happy when you yourself aren't happy. I decided to cut things off and try and figure out what makes me happy.
Break-ups suck because the smallest thing can trigger you into wanting to just run back. And I did multiple times. But I finally had someone who shook me and said "This isn't you, can't you see that?" That really hit me. I realized that this was something that was no longer beneficial for myself and I was finding myself constantly questioning myself and how I felt, so I left for good this time.
It has been almost a month since we were together and right now I can say that I have never been happier. Yes, it hurts and there are for sure moments where I wonder if it was the right thing but the support system I have behind me has been nothing but the best. Sometimes you have to be selfish and that is okay.
It is okay to be selfish when it comes to your happiness. And if that means that you need to step back and feel some pain for awhile that is okay. It isn't going to feel good in the moment to lose something that you put so much energy into but it also isn't going to feel good when you have put so much in only to look back and realize that you have nothing left for yourself.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I think this really just kind of sums it all up,that there is a greater plan than a relationship ending, it all happens for a reason.
I think that this post is TREMENDOUSLY rambly- but I think that it made the point I wanted it to make.
Enjoy this time with loved ones, and make the most out of every moment.
XOXO-
Kait
Monday, September 26, 2016
the final homecoming
Well the time has come, I had my last homecoming this past weekend and it was everything I expected and more. There is something about everyone being together in the sweaty gym together for the last time that makes it all seem so real. Like wow, four years ago we had literally no idea how to dance or what to wear and now it is something we could do in our sleep. I am going to miss the cheesy music, the horrid slow dances, and of course those horrible posed pictures but don't worry my friends....senior prom is just six short months away but prom is for sure its' own monster!
xoxo
Kait
xoxo
Kait
Sunday, September 18, 2016
so here's what you missed....
I think that it's time that I sort of had the chance to catch everyone up on where in the world I have been and explain myself. By the way my title totally made me think of the introduction to a new episode of the TV show, Glee...but that is besides the point. So senior year is amongst myself and I have nothing but good things to say about it. I love my teachers, and my friends (which are totally different from last year) and life is just grand. I felt like since it has been a hot second since I had the time to sit down and write so I just wanted to catch everyone up on the past few weeks, I am working on getting a more organized system of blogging figured out so keep an eye out for another post next Sunday!
Cheerleading
Yes senior year of cheerleading has been awesome, I was actually selected to be a captain this year and as of right now our football team is undefeated and looking very strong! My squad this year is actual #squadgoals.
Friends
For anyone who has been with me since the Kaitlyn Pearls and Whales days, you would know that finding genuine people has been quite the challenge but I am so lucky to have found some of the greatest people I have ever met through my summer job as a lifeguard. We are always together and we are always sharing a laugh.
Homecoming
Actually, next weekend I will be heading on over to my boyfriend's high school for his homecoming and I am so excited! Going dress shopping this week. I always seem to be super last minute with dress shopping but I mean I always find what I am looking for!
College
So the topic that seems, well, unavoidable this year. Yes, I plan on heading to some college somewhere in America but as for right now I really have no idea where! I was recently accepted into Mississippi State University but I also just finished up the Common App and will be applying to a few more schools these next few weeks. No worries, I will for sure keep you all posted on this topic as the year progresses.
Family
My fam bam is just as happy as ever. My older of the two younger sisters I have just started her freshman year in high school and she loves it. She seems to be so much more of her own person recently, middle school was rather rough for her but she is living it up right now. My youngest sister, is starting 3rd grade and the sass is real people let me tell you!
I really am sorry for being so distant from blogging, but summer flew by and I was back in school with the blink of an eye and now here I am. So here is to senior year and actually writing more.
xoxo
Kait
Cheerleading
Yes senior year of cheerleading has been awesome, I was actually selected to be a captain this year and as of right now our football team is undefeated and looking very strong! My squad this year is actual #squadgoals.
Friends
For anyone who has been with me since the Kaitlyn Pearls and Whales days, you would know that finding genuine people has been quite the challenge but I am so lucky to have found some of the greatest people I have ever met through my summer job as a lifeguard. We are always together and we are always sharing a laugh.
Homecoming
Actually, next weekend I will be heading on over to my boyfriend's high school for his homecoming and I am so excited! Going dress shopping this week. I always seem to be super last minute with dress shopping but I mean I always find what I am looking for!
College
So the topic that seems, well, unavoidable this year. Yes, I plan on heading to some college somewhere in America but as for right now I really have no idea where! I was recently accepted into Mississippi State University but I also just finished up the Common App and will be applying to a few more schools these next few weeks. No worries, I will for sure keep you all posted on this topic as the year progresses.
Family
My fam bam is just as happy as ever. My older of the two younger sisters I have just started her freshman year in high school and she loves it. She seems to be so much more of her own person recently, middle school was rather rough for her but she is living it up right now. My youngest sister, is starting 3rd grade and the sass is real people let me tell you!
I really am sorry for being so distant from blogging, but summer flew by and I was back in school with the blink of an eye and now here I am. So here is to senior year and actually writing more.
 |
| Enjoy this throwback of me visiting Mississippi State last year |
xoxo
Kait